Shameless Use of Charm.

I've been having issues with my computer at work.

Since the day a computer magically landed itself in my cubicle it's been nothing but a headache.

First, this thing makes my cubicle sound as though it's situated right beside a busy runway. It. Is. So. Loud. They can hear it in the next room. Best part of this noise problem? Rounded edges meant it had to live on my desk rather than the floor. Great. All that noise right next to my head. All afternoon.

Probably more annoying than that would be it's "spontaneous restarting" problem. Thrice I wrote one of the guys in IT to come "fix it". Every time I made my email true to myself, in that I'm pretty sure the entire IT department shares these emails and laughs at me, but whatever.

I can usually tell when the "stealthy" IT guy will visit my computer, after hours, because he notoriously forgets to log off and therefore I can't log in. But it's all okay because this has been my morning routing with "Horace the Horrible" for the last few weeks:

Come in. Turn on Horace. Log in. Horace restarts. Before I can log in Horace restarts. Repeat until I want to cry.

Part of my last email actually included the words "I'm pretty sure this thing hates me. Or is possessed. You can formulate your own rational opinion and attempt to diagnose and correct the issue, but if this keeps up I can't be held accountable for throwing it off the roof of Biotech 2"

This morning I counted the times Horace restarted. When I got to time number 9 (in as many minutes, no exaggerating) I got the blue screen of near death.

It wasn't the first time I'd seen said screen.

So I bit the bullet and I called in the very unstealthy and notoriously grouchy IT guy.

Because he was the only one there that early in the morning.

It is important at this juncture to inform you that I'm pretty notorious for attracting the geeks, which is great because I big puffy heart them. In particular, I big puffy heart the Knight, who may have saved my computer from certain death many years ago, thus prompting what ended up becoming a relationship.

The Knight isn't fond of other geeks saving me from machines.

Desperate times, however...

So IT dude comes over, on his own time, and is informed by my supervisor (I was dealing with the lack of FedEx in the other room) of the issue at hand.

First and foremost, IT dude says "whoa this thing is loud. Sounds like it may just take off."

No shit, dude.

He does his geeky thing for three hours because Horace is truly that horrible. IT dude is notorious for just walking away when he's done, no words of wisdom or "I'm done here" but he comes into the lab to tell me all should be well, Horace will need a restart when whatever was installing was done but should be good to go after that.

I got looks from other people in my department, because IT dude is not usually that "user friendly."

When I got back to my desk and restarted he had come by to "check up" on my progress. It's then he offers to find a way to put the computer on the floor, you know, away from my head.

I thank him graciously and he crawls around under my desk for a while, moving wires and all that good stuff. Unheard of, in general, for this IT dude.

Then? Then IT dude was all "your mouse is ancient. Do you want a new one?"

IT dude never, ever, ever offers upgrades to equipment that still works, no matter how ancient. (Naturally I said "yes" because dude, not only did my mouse suck, it didn't even have the little scrolly button thing I'm always trying in vain to use.)

He comes back with 2 options and let's me choose. I pick one, and he tells me it was the one he was going to bring over, but he thought he'd give me the choice. This mouse? Just came in yesterday.

And is an optical mouse.

I'm pretty sure by the end of the day the word of my good fortune had spread all over the building and many people stopped by to see what my secret is.

I think it's my emails.

Or maybe, just maybe, I'm a geek magnet.