Buffer

I think the Knight is a buffer.

Either I'm crabby due to lack of sex his absence or the man just has some kind of calming factor on the household.

When he's not in some remote location on business off saving the world from technology, The Knight has been known to hang around the Draft Household as of late. One would think that this would bring animosity or some kind of stress to the castle but actually, it's the opposite. Things had been quite peaceful and happy around these parts prior to his most recent escape hiatus.

Tonight, as I ran my ass off, trying to get dinner and dessert prepared for company (That Guy's sister, fiance and 2 small children*) I instructed my children to help me out, by doing their chores.

I instructed several times over the course of 15 minutes and then the little buggers escaped outside when they knew I was chained to the stove and couldn't retrieve them. I asked That Guy for a little assistance.

What I meant was "go get those disobedient spawn and have them pick up their crap."

What he heard was "unload the dishwasher and stand in my way."

No, really, it has to be, because this is what he did. I got aggravated. To get him out of my way I asked him to bring the extra chairs up from the basement along with the leaf for the dining room table.

What he heard had to be "fold the laundry on the dining room table 20 minutes before we are going to eat at it."

Because that's what he did. So I got more angry. Sure, I should've been happy he was "helping" with the dishes and the laundry, but I swear he did it in a way to make sure it pissed me off.

(And when I went down for the chairs myself and the timer went off in the kitchen, he was sure to say "um, something's done" and walk off to get the children from the yard instead of saving dinner from overcooking.)

Now, if the Knight was here, I'd (probably) be less crabby and therefore (probably) less annoyed. Also? I (probably) would have just asked him and he (probably) would've done the things I actually asked, rather than his own interpretation, thus (probably) saving That Guy and I from a verbal duel over who was giving who attitude.

See? Instant buffer.

And between you and I, this place is just happier when he's here. (I know, you are gagging...)

* Yesterday was That Guy's birthday. The day before was his sister's. Yes, I know I'm not married to him/ them anymore, but I totally offered to make dinner since she feeds That Guy and my kids nearly every Tuesday. I can be nice, I don't care what you've heard.